Tefilla: Prayer

“And little Kazik lay on his back, his hair sticking up in soft, bright tufts, and his face, ach, there was so much curiosity and courage there, and I prayed I would have the strength to make it through this night and tomorrow.” And he looked at the child with mercy, in which there was already love, and blades of pain and pleasure tilled the clods of his old heart, and again, despite himself, despite his decisions and everything he knew about this world and the people in it and this life which is no life at all, again he sprouted fresh new buds of hope. He prayed. Marcus: “To be able to leave the passion for life intact on the boy’s face, together with his wonderful confidence, as he lies on his back, open to everything, believing in everything.” Fried: “And that I won’t poison him with the hatred in me.” Marcus: “And with everything I know.” Otto: “That I’ll let him grow up manly and brave and willing to believe.” Fried: “And please don’t let him be like me. Let him be like Paula.” And Wasserman raised his eyes to Neigel and said, “All of us prayed for one thing: that he might end his life knowing nothing of war. Do you understand, Herr Neigel? We asked so little: for a man to live in this world from birth to death and know nothing of war.”

☐ from David Grossman, See Under: Love